Words As Weapons
by CSI1983
Summary: An ordinary day and an ordinary phone call turns into a case that touches incredibly close to home. Castle/Beckett. Rated M for later chapters
1. Chapter 1

_A/N - So I finally caved and started watching Castle. And then this story came to me and over a period of 24 hours, I wrote a large chunk of it. My first dance into the realm of Castle. Should be a fun ride. So as always, read and review. Let me know if I have it right or wrong. Please sadly be advised that I do not own Castle. However, I am firmly on the camp of Castle/Beckett._

 _Let me know what you think!_

Chapter One – Breathe Today

To him, this was one of the best ways to spend a day. Well, second best outside of finding a killer. He had settled himself in a park bench with a large coffee and people watched. His phone had maintained its stubborn silence for almost two days now. He had fought the temptation to simply show up at the precinct and wait for something to happen but he also knew that he had writing to do. So, in a move that felt particularly adult, he had used the silence to his advantage. But he had to admit, he missed it. He sat up a little straighter when he saw a woman that he thought he recognised. It took him a mere split second to realize that he was wrong. The same, long bouncy hair was there but she lacked the confident stride. It wasn't Beckett. It seemed silly to him now. Why would she be wondering around at almost 7am? She would be at her desk, doing paperwork. He would be surprised if she wasn't there before he had even gotten out of the shower that morning. He watched a couple bicker as they walked past him, the dog on the other end of a lead ignoring them and pissing on a collection of bushes. Just when he thought he had reached a level of Zen, he phone chirped. He glanced at the screen before answering with a smile.

"Hello, Boss Lady. Please tell me we have something fun to do today?"

* * *

When Castle arrived, his eyes scanned the scene. Not for the victim or the surrounding drama but for Beckett. He had her coffee. He spotted her getting ready to stoop under the yellow tape and sped walked over to her, tilting her a smile.

"Good Morning Beckett."

He handed her a coffee. She accepted with a nod and resumed ducking under the tape. They walked down a narrow alley, at the end of which Lanie was waiting. She glanced at the coffee's that they held in their hands.

"No one asked me about getting a coffee."

Castle offered her his own, yet to be touched and she shook off the offer with smile.

"I'm ok. Been up since five. Anymore coffee in me and it's going to end badly."

Castle would have chuckled but his eyes caught the victim lying on the ground and it died before it had even begun. He knew her. The long, dirty blonde hair, the full cheeks and the cupid bow mouth. He knew the scar that graced her wrist and the one that scraped her narrow chin. He knew the arch of those eyebrows in laughter and the lines that were caused by it. He could feel Beckett studying him.

"Castle?"

One word, a million units of concern. Castle cleared his throat.

"I know her."

"Who is she?"

"Kaylee Dean. She's Kaylee Dean."

The world kind of zoomed into him. He felt hyper aware of Kaylee lying at his feet, Beckett's voice distant. Kaylee. She was dead. He felt the shake and Beckett's hand on his arm, gripping hard. She shook something loses and he clicked back.

"Castle."

He turned to Beckett and she fixed him with that look. The same look he had given her every time something upset her. Castle looked at Lanie.

"How did she die?"

Lanie glanced at Beckett, who apparently gave the all clear because Lanie continued, lifting a section of hair from Kaylee's face.

"Strangled is my first conclusion. It can see not sign of sexual assault, her clothes all seem to be in place. But as always, will know more when I get her into my lab."

He stayed where he was, his throat dry as he watched Kaylee being loaded into the medical examiner van. He then watched as Beckett glanced around the scene, doing her normal collection of details. Her body was tense, aware that he was there, that something was wrong. But the urgency of the scene took precedence. It always did and it had too. He knew that. Not that it mattered. He was still reeling from what he had just seen. When she was done, exchanging a few words with the techs before turning to him, she silently grabbed him arm. She strode him back to their waiting car. Once they were in, she turned to him, her face solemn.

"So, care to tell me what happened?"

Castle sighed.

"I know her."

Beckett frowned.

"As you already mentioned. How?"

"Through my writing. She's a friend. A good one."

Beckett nodded.

"Well let's go back to the precinct. I want to ask you some questions about Kaylee."

Castle nodded and leaned his head against the window as Beckett started the engine. He tried to swallow the dryness from his tongue. Kate Beckett knew him too well. Because for the drive back to the precinct, she said nothing at all. He could feel her eyes on him though, concern coming off her in serious waves. She flanked him as they went from the car into the office. Instead of the interview room, she pulled him into a private room away from prying eyes. He settled himself in a chair and she did the same next to him. She took out a notebook that he had never seen her grab and placed it on the table. She sat back and offered him a twitch of a smile.

"So, from the top. When did you meet Kaylee?"

"Many moons ago, there was a writing exercise called Writer's Exchange. The name is as it implies. It was a great way to get some editing and when you are stuck, to get a different perspective. I reached out to Kaylee when I read one of her manuscripts. It was beautiful and so well written. She has a unique style. Very different from others I have read. We kept in touch. She was one of those people who would move in and out of your life but you always picked up where you left off."

Beckett cleared her throat but Castle bet her too it.

'There was no romantic involvement there. She's been married for years."

"Happily?"

"Deliriously. It was rather sickening."

It hit him again, the wave of what had just happened.

"Kate, she has kids. Jesus, Spencer and the kids. We have to tell them."

Castle made a move to stand but Beckett grabbed his wrist."

"Ric, give Lanie a little more time. We might be able to give Spencer the answer he needs. Trust me, answers are the best thing for them all."

It wasn't her tone or her hand on her skin. It was her saying his first name, a rare event. He sunk back into his seat. He put his hands on the table and realized that they were shaking. And it felt ridiculous. He knew what it was, he knew it was the shock. He had seen a good friend dead on the pavement. He knew the blood hadn't returned to his face and that the dryness in in his mouth now extended to his throat. He tried to clear it again, swallowing heavily. When Beckett stood, turning on her heel, he resisted the urge to grab her and tell her to stay. He watched her go, silently closing the door behind her. He simply stared at the top of the table, examining the intimate grains of wood. The door opened again and a glass of water was placed in front of him. Next to that, a fresh cup of coffee. He looked up as Beckett settled herself back down again.

"Lanie will let us know as soon as she can."

"Until then?"

"We wait. You can tell me more about Kaylee."

Once the Kaylee story started, it was easy. He sipped his water and coffee and Beckett remained silent.

* * *

Within the hour, they were in Lanie's domain. Her eyes flicked over Castle before she resumed her normal explanation.

"As I suspected no sign of sexual trauma. She was strangled. Judging by the angle, they caught her from behind and simply pulled until she stopped struggling. She died between 4 and 5am this morning. There is something else."

Beckett raised an eyebrow as Lanie hesitated.

"She was almost three months pregnant."

It was all Castle could do to not stumble and end up on the floor. He felt Beckett take his arm. He almost failed to notice it travel down until her palm was touching his, small fingers locking around his larger ones, trying to offer some sort of comfort. Lanie continued to speak but he was too far from that now. He wondered if Spencer knew that they were on baby number four. He only realized that they were done when he felt a tug at the end of his arm and his legs responded, following Beckett out the door. She hesitated for a few seconds before releasing his hand. The loss of her strength and warmth was almost physical. He didn't like it.

"Castle, I need to know that you can do this."

Castle frowned.

"You mean that you would cut me off from this?"

Beckett searched his face for a moment before she nodded slightly.

"I will if I don't think you can do this. Everything you know about Kaylee and somethings you never did are about to be exposed. You have to be ready for that. You know the routine by now."

Castle nodded, gripped by what he knew drove Kate over and over again. He needed to see this done. He needed to face the person who did this.

"I'll be fine."

Beckett took his word and remained silent as they walked back to their area. Castle's phone chirped and his stomach sunk as he looked at the screen. He showed it to Beckett.

"It's Mother. She was always awfully fond of Kaylee. One of the few women in my life she actually liked."

"You don't have to tell her."

Castle didn't answer, pressing the phone to his ear.

"Hello Mother."

He waited for a few moments as she caught him up on her audition. When she ran out of steam, he spoke."

"Mother, we caught a murder this morning. It was Kaylee Dean."

"No."

He heard a small shuffle and his mother's sigh.

"I know."

"Are you ok?"

"I'm fine."

His voice betrayed him. He could hear it.

"Is Kate with you?"

Castle glanced at the woman in question.

"Yes."

"Pass me to her."

Castle did as he was told, shrugging at Beckett's cocked eyebrow. He didn't even bother to listen to the conversation, Kate's answers all short and giving nothing away. She gave a short farewell before hanging up and handing him back his phone.

"How badly did she embarrass me?"

Beckett smiled.

"She gave me orders, in no uncertain terms, if I feel you are struggling you are to be sent home."

"She forgets sometimes that I am not her little boy anymore."

"Don't be ridiculous. Every child remains that way to a parent. Alexis will always be your little girl, whether she is four or seventy-five."

Castle smiled, knowing that it was definitely true. Then the smile felt wrong and it fell away.

"We had better get going."

Beckett fell into step beside him and they silently headed towards the situation that neither of them wanted to be in.


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N_ _\- Hey guys. So someone asked me about when this was taking place. It's in the area of season 3 or 4. I know it's around the time things started spilling over between them._

 _I know where this is headed. And it's going to be fun._

 _New chapter, so please feel free for new reviews!_

Chapter Two – White Rabbit

Beckett felt distinctly protective of Castle in that moment. She had felt that feeling more than once before but this time it came with the urge to hug him, to tell him that it hurt likes a bitch but he would be ok. All the lies you say to try and make the situation better. The reality was, he would never forget. Kaylee would fade but she would always be there, the vision of her on the ground dead and the whisper of her voice when she was alive. She would be Castle's ghost. Not that it mattered. The baggage that they carried between them could push a small plane into a nosedive. It was just something to add and it was a burden that she was happy to help him carry. If she could, she would remove it entirely. She knew what the cost was of that burden. As they neared the Dean's home, she could feel the tension coming off Castle, could see him grit his teeth. She knew that the only reason that he was here was because of Kaylee. She could see that glint. The hunger that pushed her forward every time someone got hurt. He had it now. And it wasn't the thirst of a story like it normally was.

"You ready?"

He shook his head.

"No. But there's nothing I can do about that."

Beckett nodded her understanding, parking the car and turning off the engine. She took a few deep breaths, preparing herself for what was to come. A man and three little girls were about to get the most devastating news anyone could possibly receive. She was about to move when she felt Castle's warm hand over hers. It was good to feel the heat again. When she had taken his hand before, it was cold and shaking. This was none of those things. Soft currents of heat inched their way on her skin and she felt that same old jolt of electricity that she got from touching him. He looked into her eyes and for a second, she thought he could see everything there. All the things that she pushed down or flat out denied, even to herself. But his serious face told her that for that moment, her secrets were safe.

"Thank you."

She frowned.

"What for?"

"For knowing that I need to do this."

"You were there for me. My turn."

He released her hand and she got out of the car, resisting the urge to remain in that warm, confined space with him. They had work to do. Castle fell behind her as she approached the house. She took another deep breath before knocking briskly. When the door swung open, she didn't get a chance to introduce herself before a small body flew past her and into Castle's arms.

"Uncle Ricky!"

The little girl, around nine, kissed his cheek and grinned widely, her thin arms around his neck. She had a stunning smile, wide blue eyes and hair that matched her mother's. Castle squeezed her before lowering her to the ground, grasping her shoulders and studying her seriously.

"Which one are you? Lucy?"

The little girl giggled, shaking her head. Castle sighed.

"Hope?"

Another giggle and another shake. Castle's eyes widened with mock surprise.

"Mikayla Dean, is that really you? You are almost taller than me!"

Mikayla nodded proudly, her back becoming straighter. She looked around Castle, a frown on her face.

"Where is Alexis?"

Castle shook her head.

"She's not with me today. Mikayla, this is my friend Kate. Kate this is Mikayla."

Mikayla studied Kate for a second before offering her that stunning grin.

"Hi. I'll go and get Daddy. Come inside."

She grabbed first Castle's hand then Kate's, tugging them inside. She left them in the living room and disappeared upstairs. Castle's face fell when he turned to Kate.

"I'm going to give you all my admiration for doing this. I don't know how you do."

"Because someone has to. And it might as well be someone who has some idea of what path they are about to head down."

"Ric Castle, as I live and breathe. Hello stranger."

Castle and Spencer embraced. Beckett stepped in before any small talk, introducing herself. As she said the words, she knew that Spencer got that something was wrong. He searched first her face then Castle's. He then looked at his youngest daughter.

"Mickey, do you think you can go and play?"

"Can I go and play with Beth?"

"Sure. But stay in the backyard, ok?"

"Ok."

Once Mikayla was safely out the door, Spencer glanced between them again.

"What is it? Are Hope and Lucy alright? Do I need to call Kaylee?"

Beckett glanced at Castle before speaking.

"Mr Dean-"

"Spencer, please. What is going on?"

"You might want to sit down"

Spencer looked at Castle, who nodded. Spencer sunk into the nearest seat. Beckett took the seat across from him and softened her voice.

"Spencer, we found your wife murdered this morning."

She could see the second that the news hit home. His face fell and his mouth fell open. "Are you sure? I mean Kaylee should be at work. I could call her and then-"

Castle's voice was soft.

"We're sure. I saw her, Spencer."

Spencer sagged.

"Who….."

"We are looking into it."

Silent tears tracked down Spencer's face and Beckett knew that he needed a few moments. They sat in silence. Kate took her cue from Spencer himself. When he took a shaky breath and seemed to have himself again, she continued.

"Can you think of anyone who may want to hurt your wife?"

Spencer started to shake his head before he stopped.

"Taylor Brenson."

"Who?"

"Kaylee's stalker."

* * *

Beckett stood beside Castle, eyes on the suspect on the other side of the mirror. Taylor Brenson was not a big man; weasel would be the word that she would use. His body was all sharp angles and not much else.

"Spencer said he had been following her for years now."

"You saw his place, he was deeply disturbed."

When they had gotten there, Brenson put up very little fight. It was what was on the walls that disturbed them all. Wall to wall dedication to Kaylee. Her face was everywhere. In articles and candid shots, even a few with the family all together. Her books were stacked neatly on a desk. He had cried when they told him why they were arresting him and Beckett knew that he would not be able to kill Kaylee. Not just because of his obsession but because he was too small. Kaylee had a bit more height and weight on him. But she needed to question him regardless. He might be the person to give them details that they needed.

"Are you ok to come in with me?"

Castle nodded.  
"He didn't do it, did he?"

"I don't think so. But let's pretend until we know otherwise."

"I can do pretend. But I need you to promise me something."

Beckett caught his eye.

"What?"

"Don't let me get to close to him. He may not have killed her but he stalked her. He's a monster in his own right."

"Ok."

In silent unison, they left their side of the mirror and entered the room. Brenson looked up at them, his face red.

"I didn't kill her."

Beckett took the seat directly across from him, Castle beside her.

"Mr Brenson, how long have you been watching Kaylee?"

Brenson frowned.

"Why?"

"Answer the question."

Brenson sighed.

"Since she released Dog Days."

Castle cocked his eyebrow.

"Eight years? You've been following her eight years?"

"I don't follow her."

Beckett offered him a cold smile.

"Then what do you call it?"

"Dedication to the craft. I've also sent her several manuscripts to read but she never got back to me. I was simply waiting for my chance."

"And in eight years, you never got it?"

"It was never the right time."

Beckett glanced at her notes.

"Where were you between 3 and 5am this morning?"

"Sleeping. Along with the rest of the city."

"Can anyone verify that?"

"My parents."

Beckett made a quick note before looking at Castle, gauging his reaction. He was clenching his jaw, his fists on his lap.

"Did you notice anyone else around Kaylee?"

"Like who?"

"Anyone out of the ordinary?"

"No. Just the normal family, editor and friends."

"Ok. For now Brenson, we are booking you on harassment. But we are not done with the questions yet."

Brenson stiffened and then shot out of his seat but Castle was faster. Beckett barely had a chance to blink before Brenson was pinned to the wall, Castle pressing him there. Beckett manoeuvred closer, getting a shoulder between them, facing Castle.

"Let him go."

Castle broke his death stare at Brenson to look at her. After a second, he released Brenson, who sagged slightly. Beckett cleared her throat.

"As I was saying, we are filing those charges. Should keep you behind bars for a while."

Castle left the room before she did, heading into the staff room. Beckett left the files on her desk before following. She leaned on the door frame and watched him pour a coffee. He was barely keeping it together. His shoulders were hunched and his teeth remained gritted.

"Sorry."

He looked up at her.

"For what?"

"For not being fast enough."

He smiled.

"I didn't punch him. Bonus points for both of us."

"It's getting late."

Castle glanced at the clock on the wall, realizing that she was right. The hours had melted together and suddenly it was almost 9pm. He had no idea how that happened. It had felt like the longest day of his life.

"We should head home.

"Translation, I should head home. We both know you won't."

"I will if you do. I will even buy you a drink before I drop you off."

Castle abandoned the coffee and walked towards her.

"I believe that this is the best thing you have said to me all day."


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N - Hey guys. Getting impatient to get this done. Spent a few hours writing in a cafe old school with paper and pen. It was fun. I do it often but main idea or sentences that I like. It's been a while since I wrote actual pages._

 _So here is the new chapter. Please read and if you enjoy, please drop me a review. I live for them!_

Chapter Three – Shadow Hunter

By the time he got home, Castle felt deliciously numb. In fact, he was so numb; Beckett had to help him to his front door. He leaned on her as he handed her his keys and she unlocked it quickly, pushing it completely open with her hip. When they stumbled through the door, Alexis was in his arms. Kate kept her arm around Castle, keeping him balanced. Alexis released him, searching his face.

"Gram told me. Is it true?"

Castle nodded. Martha appeared around the corner and when she hugged her son; her arms went around Kate as well. Kate returned the embrace and together they got Castle onto the sofa.

"Sorry Martha but I promised him a drink. He took it to mean multiple drinks."

Martha gave her a sad smile as she watched Alexis fuss over her father. Castle was a little bit beyond anything now, letting Alexis pull a blanket over him before heading to the kitchen to get water.

"My boy always feels things so deeply."

Martha tugged on Beckett's arm and led her into a corner away from Castle.

"Thank you for being there for him today."

Beckett shrugged and told her the same thing she told Castle hours earlier.

"He's always there for me. It's my turn now."

"Kaylee. I cannot believe that she's really gone."

Martha wore the same expression that was on Castle that morning.

"Castle said she was one of the few women in his life that you liked."

Martha chuckled.

"He's right. She's one of the few that treated him properly. Almost completely drama free. It was a refreshing change. Every other women in his life brought drama. Oh excluding you my dear. You are also deeply refreshing."

Beckett returned the smile.

"Thank you Martha. I am happy to hear that. But do you think he's up for this? For finding her killer?"

They both looked at Castle, now snuggled deeply on the sofa, Alexis carefully slipping off his shoes. Martha sighed.

"Even if he can't, he will. He's too stubborn and as of this morning, personally invested. But you are the key in all this. You know that right?"

Beckett frowned.

"How so?"

Martha slipped her arm through the crook of Beckett's elbow.

"Because you, my dear, keep him balanced. Just as he does to you."

Beckett swallowed, unsure how to respond. Martha caught the silence and grinned.

"Don't worry, your secret is safe with me. Now, you should get home and get some rest too. Unless you would like a cup of tea?"

Beckett shook off the invitation.

"No thank you Martha. And you are right; I should get some rest too. Hopefully, he will be better in the morning."

Beckett gave Alexis a small wave as she headed for the door. Martha gave her another hug.

"Thank you for bringing my boy home."

"Anytime. Night."

As Beckett made her way back to her car, Martha's words played through her head over and over. She kept Castle balanced. Did he really do the same to her? She thought of all the times that she laughed the coffee that he always handed to her and the feeling of relaxation that came to her in his presence. Even in a bad spot, she knew that he had her back and it made her feel safer. Always safe with him. She never had to question his motives with her or with anything else. He was just simply Richard Castle. She kept pondering as she drove home, the thoughts continuing to bounce around as she had her bath and settled into bed.

* * *

Kate had barely brushed her knuckles over the front door before it swung open. Alexis, all dressed and ready for school offered her a slight smile.

"Morning. He's still out. He has barely moved since last night. Good luck."

Alexis tugged her backpack over her shoulder and nodded towards her father. And then Alexis swung out of the doorway and down the hall. Kate blinked before stepping into the warm loft and approaching the still form of Castle. He had an arm slung over his eyes, his breathing heavy and even. Even in sleep, she could see the news from yesterday still on his face. She wondered if he dreamed about it like she had done. It wasn't the first time and it would most definitely not be the last. What had gotten to her was a picture in the Dean's home. One of Kaylee with the kids, their arms all tangled together, bright smiles on their faces. It was a sweet moment and heart breaking for what had happened to it. It helped fuel things though. The shattered left over pieces of the family certainly pushed the need to close this harder. She carefully placed the coffees on the table before removing her gloves and placing a hand on his shoulder, shaking gently.

"Castle."

The man in question groaned and shifted away from her hand. She saw the frown beneath his arm.

"Rise and shine. I have coffee."

When he finally relinquished to her request, removing his arm from over his eyes, he squinted as he turned to her.

"It was real wasn't it?"

She nodded as she handed him a coffee and then the Tylenol.

"Yeah it was. Are you okay?"

Castle shrugged.

"I don't know. I feel….numb. Like Kaylee is going to jump out from behind some corner and tell me it was part of some Murder Mystery plot. Stupid, right?"

Beckett sunk into the sofa beside him; the cushions still warms from his body. She took a deep breath, always needing those few seconds before she exposed that wound to someone.

"You know, for months after my mother's death, I thought the same thing. I heard a car in the drive and there was a small part of me that expected her to walk in. Even now, if I smell her perfume I try to find her. Or if I see someone with her hair. I don't think I will ever stop expecting to see her."

Castle's eyes softened, licking his dry lips briefly.

"So this is normal?"

"Hard to define normal when it comes to this. Plus it's you. Normal is not something that you do."

"Neither do you."

It was the first teasing he had done yesterday and it gave her an odd sense of comfort that he was still there beneath all this mess. Castle stood and stretched, rubbing his eyes before looking at her again, a little more alert.

"So where to from here?"

"Well, Brenson is a a loose end but not who we are looking for. We need to check Spencer's alibi and see if we can find people with any kind of issues with Kaylee."

"Seems silly to think that she had no enemies."

"Everyone does, even if the threat is far from them. She might have angered someone without even realizing it."

"Perhaps another stalker? Anyone worth their salt seems to have at least one these days."

Beckett cocked her eyebrow.

"How many have you had?"

"A few. They all seem harmless. But then I see this and it's sinking in that there may be no such thing."

Their conversation was interrupted by a knock on the door. They exchanged a quick glance before Castle moved to the front door and pulled it open. A man in a delivery uniform stood at the door, a half smile on his face.

"Delivery for Richard Castle."

Castle smiled.

"That's me."

Castle signed off for the package before kicking the door closed with his foot. The package was a fat one, heavy and dense. Beckett watched him as he tore it open. She watched the blood drain from his face.

"Castle?"

He held up the thick binding of paper, showing Beckett the cover.

"It's from Kaylee."

* * *

Beckett didn't touch the letter, didn't even try to read it. She was busy watching Castle. He was fluttering, moving around the kitchen, pretending not to be bursting with curiosity. He had ducked into the bathroom at one point and when he came back out there was puffiness to his eyes that had nothing to do with his vague hangover. Only when he brewed a third round of coffee, having thrown out the last two did she stand and moved into the kitchen. She took hold of his wrist, stilling his movements. She waited until his eyes met hers and offered him a small smile.

"Take a deep breath."

He did as he was told. She told him to repeat the process and after a few moments, he seemed calmer. Together, they finished making the coffee and then finally took a seat at the breakfast bar. She let him go at his own pace, his eyes going over the note that was on the cover. When he started speaking, his voice was steady.

 _ **Hey Ric,**_

 _ **I'm moving away from the normal and could do with your advice. You are the only person I can trust with this. My editor and publisher both think this is career suicide. But you get it, don't you? You had the same issues with Storm.**_

 _ **Please give me a call and tell me what you think.**_

 _ **Thanks,**_

 _ **Kaylee**_

 _ **P.S – We are overdue for a family dinner by the way. We miss you and Alexis. Come round soon. Spencer can make that red wine stew you love so much.**_

Castle voice cracked slightly at that last part. He cleared his throat before sliding the letter over to Beckett. She scanned it quickly before turning her attention to the manuscript in his hands. She watched him frown as he leafed through it.

"What's wrong?"

Castle shook his head.

"It's a murder mystery."

Beckett struggled to meet him where he was.

"I don't understand."

"You know that author Jodi Picoult?"

Beckett nodded.

"Of course. Relationships, usually death and redemption."

"That was Kaylee's style. But this…this is more my style. I don't understand."

"She's branching out."

Castle shook his head.

"That's not easy to do. Look what happened to Stephen King. He is known as a horror writer yet some of his best works were short stories that had nothing to do with death and things going bump in the dark. You know Shawshank Redemption? Short story he wrote and sold the rights for."

"You did it."

"I didn't change entire genres. I killed my main guy and started another with Nikki Heat. She had jumped from one to another in a single bound."

Castle put the manuscript down, placing it carefully before him. Beckett looked between the manuscript and Castle.

"You have to read it."

Castle shook his head.

"I don't know if I can. This…it's her last.."

His sentence faded. She hesitated for a moment before putting her hand over his.

"She trusted you with this. From what I know about you, considering what it took to get any kind of copy of Nikki Heat before it was published, it took a lot of trust. She trusted you."

"It got her killed."

"Maybe but for now, this is her voice."

Beckett put her other hand on the manuscript.

"She is trusting you with her voice. Even if it is a new one. And-"

She pushed it open to the first page.

"It might hold something that we need to know."

Castle nodded.

"Fine. I'll read it. But later."

Beckett shook her head.

"Nope. I want you to stay home today and read. And then re-read and make notes. I'm going to hit Brenson up again. I want to push harder on him."

Castle opened him mouth to protest but Beckett cut him off.

"Castle, you know Kaylee. You know her writing. You are the only one who can do this. I need you to do this."

Castle stared at the manuscript before he slowly nodded.

"Alright."

Kate stood, taking her coffee with her. Castle followed closely behind, pulling the door open for her. She was about to turn to leave but the look on his face made her pause. He looked defeated. She caught his eye.

"I know this is hard but we'll get this guy. Trust me."

"I do."

She lingered in his gaze before moving away, already onto her next list of things that needed to be done.


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N – Heya boys and girls. So I'm going to answer a few questions here that I have been asked recently. Both castle and Beckett are single during all of this. So yes, around late season 3 and 4. But as with any, I simple want to explore an alternative plot to how they may have gotten together._

 _Now I have full outline of where this is going. The muse for that is coming in the next chapter._

 _So as always, please read, enjoy and review._

Chapter Four – Old Solution, Not absolution

When Kate entered the Precinct, two sets of eyes fell on her instantaneously. Both Ryan and Esposito approached her, their shoulders tense.

"How is Castle doing?"

Kate dropped the file on her desk.

"As well as can be expected. Ryan, can you add to the murder board that Kaylee sent Castle her latest manuscript? He going over it now as we speak. She's moved away from her normal style as well, this could give us some motive."

Esposito shrugged.

"It worked for Castle."

"Killing off a main character, yes. Not jumping genres entirely."

She waited until the board was up to date before speaking again.

"Ryan, I need you and Esposito to push Brenton a little more. Get every little detail that you can from him. Who he saw Kaylee with, where she went, anything and everything. He has kept a lot of it documented in his home but I want verbal confirmations."

They both nodded before Ryan spoke up.

"And you?"

"I'm going to talk to Spencer Dean a little more about what happened."

"I can see why you made Castle stay home."

She gave them both a sad smile.

"He does not need to see this."

* * *

Beckett watched from a distance as Spencer helped all his girls get into the car. Hope, the eldest at 15, corralled the other two into the car. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. She wondered if he had even told them yet. She continued to watch as the car drove out. Twenty-five minutes later, he pulled back into the drive. She waited another ten before getting out of the car and approaching the front door. Before she could knock the door swung open. Spencer looked about ten years older since the last time she had seen him. Grief etched lines through his face with vicious strokes. He didn't speak, merely opened the door wider and stepped back to let her enter. He indicated to a chair before nodding towards the kitchen.

"I was going to have a cup of tea. Would you like one?"

"Yes please."

Kate settled herself in a chair and waited, the soft clinking in the kitchen breaking the silence. When he returned, he handed her a large mug, the heat warming her hands. When he was seated, she finally got started.

"Spencer, I need to ask you some questions."

Spencer nodded.

"Alibi and such, right?"

"Yes."

"I was home with Mikayla all morning. She hadn't been well the night before and Kaylee decided to keep her from school."

Kate nodded, mentally marking that one off her list.

"Rick got a package this morning, from Kaylee."

Spencer frowned.

"What would she send him?"

"Her new manuscript."

Spencer shook his head again.

"No. She always lets me read them first."

"Well, this one is a little different from her normal works. It's a murder mystery apparently."

Spencer frowned.

"Why?"

"I was hoping that you may be able to tell me. Has anything changed with her lately?"

"No. Not that I noticed."

"Did she go to any meetings or anything that she may have mentioned?"

"Nothing aside from her normal publisher and editor meetings."

Castle made a note on her notebook.

"And where was she headed at the hour of the morning?"

Spencer shrugged.

"I don't know. She kissed me goodbye and asked me to put the chicken out for dinner. She said she would be home around 5pm."

"Aside from Brenson, where you aware of anyone else dangerous in her life?"

' "No."

Kate made another note, more and more things to her murder board. Including Spencer knowing nothing about his wife's life outside of the home. Then she wondered if that resentment was enough to make things change.

"Spencer, why do you stay at home with the kids?"

Kaylee's husband smiled slightly.

"Because that was the deal?"

"Sorry?"

"When I first met Kaylee, we used to joke that if anything was to come from her writing, I was to be a stay at home Dad. So that's why. And before you poke at that particular issue, it does nothing to my manhood. There is no resentment there. I got to spend every second with my little girls. I got to see every step and every word. Most fathers would kill to be in my position."

Kate's mind instinctively went to Castle and she knew that it was true. He knew how fortunate he was to have the ability to be with his only child.

"Is there anything else you can think of Spencer? Anything at all?"

Spencer sipped at his tea before sighing.

"That's it."

Kate nodded and put her notebook away. She sipped her tea and studied Spencer on the side of her mug. She had seen different people in different levels of grief. She had seen people break and fall never to be repaired. She had seen mother's silently accept the death of their children. And had seen father's vow revenge. Spencer seemed to be numb to it all. As if this was happening to someone else, some other version of himself.

"Have you told the girls yet?"

Spencer shook his head slightly.

"I didn't know….I doesn't think I have the words to tell them."

Kate braced herself slightly before speaking again.

"Did you know that she was pregnant?"

"Yes. We were hoping for a boy. The girls didn't know that either. Kaylee only told me a couple of weeks ago."

And with that, the dam broke. His careful study of the situation, of distancing himself was gone. He couldn't seem to keep it going. Kate took the mug from his hands as he started to lose his grip. She placed it on the small coffee table before moving herself closer to him. She kept a hand on his back as he sobbed.

* * *

A brief initial read through told Castle that the manuscript was good and the title "Still" definitively intriguing. She had talent for this style as well. But he must have no looked closely enough. Because when he settled himself down for a second reading, he saw it. The point of death, where a case of mistaken identity left a woman dead. By strangulation. His heart started to race as he read through the pages again.

 _ **He watched for the red coat and blonde hair. Those were the instructions he had been given. He didn't know he name. It didn't matter. The money was in his account and he had been told what to do. Make it appear random, a mugging gone wrong. To kill her and then slip away into the crowd of people he could hear a few streets over. He fingered the rope, tightening his grip when he saw her. He waited until she was few steps ahead, stepping out from the shelter of bins that kept him from view. Then he was behind her. He pulled the rope tight, and then dropped it around her neck. She struggled, like they always did. He pulled tighter, listening to her gasp for air, knowing that she knew her life was ending. Her body became limper and limper against him. Then she stopped struggling altogether. He gave one last tug, stopping only when her arms fell limp to her sides. He released her and let her sink to the ground. He avoided looking at her face, pausing only to check her throat for a pulse. None. He quickly patted down her pockets, taking her phone and wallet. He glanced around before going back the way he came, the rope returning to his pocket. Soon he was absorbed into the people. No one would know.**_

He barely even looked up from the page as he punched in Beckett's number.

* * *

When her phone chirped, Kate had just gotten back to her car. She frowned, glancing at the screen before answering.

"Castle, what's wrong?"

She immediately regretted the tension and concern in her voice. He didn't need that right now. She cleared her throat and tried again.

"I hope that you've done what I asked?"

She kept her tone light. He didn't seem to notice, his voice distracted.

"You need to come over."

"Are you okay?"

She could almost hear him shaking his head.

"No but that is beside the point.. Just get here."

The call dropped and she stared at the phone. She was torn between calling him back and simply getting back on the road. She opted for the later and threw herself back into the traffic.

* * *

When she arrived, she felt the tension as soon as she walked in. The next was Castle grabbing her wrist and tugging her to the breakfast bar.

"Read it."

She did as she was ordered. It was only on the second read of the paragraph that she saw what had captured Castle's attention.

"Kate, you know what this means, right?"

Her name tripped her for a second as did his hot breath on her cheek. She could feel the soft brush of his chest on her back as he breathed. She also felt the second he realized that he was close he was to her. His breathing hitched but he didn't move back. Kate switched back to what was in front of them.

"Castle, it could be a coincidence."

His huff of frustration stirred her hair.

"Kate."

She turned slightly and his eyes took her in. He was desperate. He wanted this to be the break that they needed. But Kate Beckett dealt with evidence and this wasn't enough. The protectiveness rose in her again, mixing his eyes with the image of Kaylee.

"Rick, I want this to be something too. But think about it. How many people have read this manuscript?"

"At least four. Six if you count us."

"Alright. And out of those six, who could have matched this to our scene? Also, she still had all of her things."

He opened his mouth to protect but she waved her hand slightly, silencing him.

"But we'll look. We have plenty more people to cover with this. We haven't even talked to her editor or publisher yet."

His face brightened slightly. Then he cocked his eyebrows at her.

"But wait, there's more."

Kate frowned but waited as he pressed even closer to her, his fingers quickly flicking deeper into the manuscript.

"Look."

He urged her again and she read the next chunk of writing. In it held a fairly basic description of the killer, right down to the scar on his collarbone.

"We'll look, right?"

"Of course. But no promises."

"I know. But you knowing is the most comforting part in all of this."

Kate felt her mouth twitch in the beginnings of a smile but it felt a little wrong. Instead, she spoke about where she had been.

"I saw Spencer today. There was nothing new there. He was the reason I wanted you to stay here."

Castle smiled softly.

"I know. I'm not as silly as I look."

His eyes lingered on her face. Always moments like this. These were the ones that flicked her to that place in her head that she would have happily avoided. And not for the first time she wondered what would happen if she caved to those thoughts. She thought about the other people in her life, the friendships and the romances in the past and the present. Very few people could read her like Richard Castle. And very few people could touch her at the level that he could. She was again struck by how easy it would be. A slight lean and she could claim his lips. For once, she could let herself be swept away. He already had the ability to distract her like no other. She wondered if the art of distraction could also be extended to other activities. Her blush at her silent monologue was broken up when Alexis came through the door. Castle moved away from her, as if they were guilty of doing something. Alexi dumped her bag by the door and stride over to Castle, who pulled her into an easy hug. He kissed the top of her head.

"Hey Princess. How was your day?"

Alexis pulled back.

"Awful. Hope called me. Uncle Spencer told them what happened. I didn't know what to say."

Castle pushed some hair back from her face.

"There's nothing you can say. You just need to let grief do its thing."

Alexis sighed, leaning against her dad, offering a small smile to Kate.

"Hi Detective Beckett."

Kate smiled.

"How many times do I need to tell you? Call me Kate."

Alexis nodded slightly, her eyes finding her father's again.

"Hope said something else."

"What?"

"She said her mother had a job in an office downtown. She caught her mother taking a call about extra shifts but her father didn't know. Did Uncle Spencer do this?"

Castle swallowed, looking over Alexis's head at Kate. Castle opted for honesty, something he always liked to do with Alexis.

"I don't know, Sweetheart. All I know is that we will find out who did this to Kaylee. And they will go away for a very long time."

Alexis nodded against his shoulder.

"Dad?"

"Yes?"

"Can you see if you can beat the guy up a little?"


	5. Chapter 5

**_A/N – Hey guys and girls. So, as many of the writers out there know, it's always great to have a sounding board. For me, this was found with a work mate and friend named Erin. She gave me some fairly incredible feedback and also listened as I passed idea after idea by her. So, as a thank you, I threw her into the story._**

 ** _So here you are Erin (or erinaimeexx as you are also known.) I know you will read this and hopefully love it. Remember, you know some things but not all. I may be able to surprise you yet._**

 ** _As for the rest of you, read review and enjoy. This is becoming a hell of a ride._**

Chapter Five – Alternative

It only took a quick call to Ryan and Esposito to track down where Kaylee had been working. It gave Castle time to have a quick shower and for Kate to make herself another coffee. Alexis had spread out her homework over the breakfast bar, flicking her pencil over her thin fingers. Beckett watched her as she sipped at her coffee. The homework may have been there but Alexis wasn't. She hadn't done anything, simply stared into the distance.

"Alexis?"

Alexis blinked and her eyes focused on Beckett.

"Sorry."

Kate offered her a smile.

"You okay?"

Alexis shook her head with a sigh, dropping her pencil back onto the paper.

"I keep thinking about Hope. It's never going to be alright for her, is it?"

Kate swallowed. She knew that Alexis knew some of her story. There was very little that Castle kept from her. In fact, more than once, she had helped him on a case.

"You know how I lost my mother, right?"

Alexis nodded slightly.

"I was older than Hope is right now but it makes no difference. When you lose someone you love, it leaves a wound. It leaves a deeper one when that person was murdered. She will heal and there will be a scar and every once and a while, it will open again. But one day, she may be able to talk about Kaylee with a smile."

"Can you?"

"Sometimes, yes. But that's because I have not found out what has happened yet. Not entirely. I full intend to give that to Hope and her sisters. Not knowing the most painful part."

Alexis glanced down before meeting Beckett's eye again.

"I'm worried about Dad. He's never lost someone like that before. I don't think he knows what to do."

"I know. I've got him covered, Alexis. I'll make sure he's okay."

"He gets obsessive about these things."

Beckett smiled.

"Yeah I noticed that. What are you working on?"

Alexis sighed.

"An analysis on the cultural imperative of technology."

"Sounds fun."

"It would be if I wasn't so distracted."

Kate leaned forward.

"Tell you what Alexis, you focus on this paper and I will focus on your father. Do we have a deal?"

Alexis nodded and took Kate's outstretched hand and they shook firmly. Castle came into the room, his hair still damp. He looked better for having a shower.

"You ready, Beckett?"

Kate quickly downed the last of her coffee.

"Yup. Let's go."

* * *

"Nirvana for the insomniac's of the world."

Kaylee's second job as a sales representative to one of America's largest sales networks, _Now!_ Line after line of desks, people and computers covered the room. It was noisy and busy. They were guided through the thong of people and all the noise. Eventually, after winding through a few cubicles, they were shown to an office.

"Detective Beckett, Mr Castle, pleasure to meet you. I'm the director of this company Deedee James. Please have a seat."

They settled themselves into the chairs and Kate pulled out her notebook.

"Mrs James-"

"Deedee."

"Deedee, what position did Kaylee hold here?"

"Sales representative. She took calls from the customers and put through the purchase."

"How often did she work?"

"Full-time."

"Did she have any issues with anyone here?"

Deedee frowned.

"Not that I know of. Do you really think that someone in this office could have hurt her?"

Castle offers her an easy smile.

"We are just covering all ends of the case."

"Alright."

"So again Deedee, does anyone have any issues with Kaylee?"

Deedee looked out her glass door as if she was expecting something.

"A few. Kaylee was…a very determined person. She was loud and opiniated. Not much got past her. In fact, she was recently promoted to a junior leadership position. She works much harder than most here. It put her on other people's radar. She got the job over many other people."

"Who were the main ones that had an issue with her?"

"Lisa Mandel, Joshua Deacon, Kylie Mentee and Jake Neil. All of them had major problems with her. Big ones. I know at one point they were pushing for her to be fired."

"How?"

"Making mistakes look like hers. Except Kaylee never made mistakes. She was a perfectionist."

Castle nodded in agreement. Kate cleared her throat.

"We will need to speak to each of those people."

Deedee nodded.

"Fine. I will let them know that they need to come down to see you."

"Great, thank you."

A few more questions later, they stood to leave. They shook hands with Deedee one last time before heading out the door.

"Next step is her publisher and editor."

Kate paused when a young woman caught her eye. Early twenties with long dark hair and wide eyes stared at her. Kate got the message loud and clear. She kept her tone low as she walked with Castle back outside the building.

"Someone wants to talk to us. Let's sit and see if she does."

A few minutes later, the same young woman walked out, walking purposefully in some incredible looking books. She searched the cars before her eyes landed on Kate. She continued forward, her strode casual before swinging herself into the back of the car. Castle turned in his seat and offered her a smile.

"Hi."

She returned it before turning her eyes to Kate.

"You need to know the truth."

Kate glanced at Castle before her eyes went back to the young woman.

"And that would be?"

"Kaylee was having an affair."

Kate saw the second that Castle's image of Kaylee fell. She could also see the second that his heart broke again. He swallowed heavily and sunk further into the seat, his eyes returning to the window. Kate pushed aside her concern and focused on the girl.

"What's your name?"

"Erin Gifkins."

"Okay Erin, what do you mean?"

Erin cleared her throat and leaned forward in her seat.

"Dillion Ross. She had been sleeping with him since she started this job a little over six months ago. I would look there."

"Why?"

"Dillion didn't know she was married. Hell, no one here did. I overheard a conversation and I put two and two together."

"Where is Dillion? Is he here?"

"Not today. Hasn't been here since we heard the news."

"Do you think he could have hurt her?"

Erin shrugged.

"He was pissed off, I knew that. I don't think he even knew she had kids. I don't know how you keep that quiet."

"Neither do we. What else did you know?"

"Not much. She kept to herself."

"What about the others who tried to get her fired?"

Erin shook her head.

"Nothing. They are all bark and no bite."

Erin's eyes flicked back to the building.

"I have to go. Before anyone sees."

Erin got out of the car without another word and did a bit of a dash back through the doors. Kate said nothing as she pulled out of the lot. What could she say? His entire image of Kaylee was gone now. This is what she had been afraid of, that all the dirty laundry would stink up the memory. She saw it day in and day out but she had never seen it like this. Castle was her clown, the one to crack an easy smile and threw out theories that made no sense. He kept her head straight. And yet when he needed her, she could find nothing to say.

* * *

At a set of lights, she flicked her eyes over to him. His head was leaning against the window and she couldn't see his face. But she could see the dampness on the edge of his cheek, the constant struggle to keep it all down. The drive was completely silent and he only moved when they pulled into the Precinct parking lot. He said nothing as he got out of the car and followed her into the building. They stepped into the elevator and she finally got a clear view of his face. It was the look he gave her that pushed her to it. He looked completely broken and without hope. She hit the emergency brake on the control panel and it caused the elevator to screech to a halt. She didn't need anyone to know or see her moment of weakness. Castle frowned at her. Before he could protest or question, she pulled him into a hug. She felt him tense before he put his arms around her waist, his face coming to rest near her neck. His heart raced against her chest and she could feel him swallowing still struggling to maintain that control. Nothing they heard today was good. And she knew it shattered everything that he thought he knew. Her voice was gentle and low as she spoke into his ear.

"I'm so sorry, Rick. I was hoping that this wouldn't happen."

The world shrunk down to that moment. Nothing existed outside of that small elevator. She waited a few more heartbeats before moving to step away but he simply pulled her closer and tighter. Her attempt to move away had shifted her body and now his mouth rested near her temple, his breath was brushing her cheek. It was too much. Too intimate for this present situation that they were in. She could feel the wall of her normal preservation start to build up again. It hit its full height when he laid a soft kiss on her temple, causing her to shiver. This time when she stepped back, he released her. Not that it mattered. She could still feel the weight of his hands on her waist. She stepped back completely and her hand went to find the brake button again.

"Wait."

His voice was chipped and tired. She paused, waiting for the reason. He didn't give her one. Instead he stepped forward again, one hand tangling in her hair as he found the back of her head and pulled her face towards his. When his lips touched hers, there was an explosion behind her eyelids and all the breath left her body. She was fairly certain that it would never return. He kissed her frantically, seeking something. Her lips burned as she kissed him back. It was only when his hands touched the bare skin at the edge of her shirt that her rational mind returned. She couldn't do this. Not here and not like this. He was upset, desperate for comfort, for some kind of reassurance that this had not destroyed the world completely. Whatever was between them and whatever the next step may be, it could not be tangled up in this. This wasn't a natural step, it was Bourne of desperation. She pulled away from him, trying to drag the air back into her lungs, her heart pounding hard in her ears.

"Rick, no. Not like this."

She saw the moment that he understood what she meant. He blushed, licking his lips as if trying to get rid of his actions completely.

"Kate-"

She waved away his concern.

"Forget it."

She hit the brake button and kept to the far side of the elevator. When the doors opened, she quickly stepped out, Castle trailing just behind her. A tiny part of her wanted to stay in the elevator, to forget the reasons that she pushed him away and said no. Because she knew that no matter what she did from here, those lips would forever be seared on her.


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N - Sorry for the delay folks. Been crazy. If it helps, I am well ahead of myself on this one..._

 _So read, enjoy and review!_

Chapter Six – Reverse

When Kate's phone rang, she ducked around to get some privacy, while Castle continued forward.

"How are you doing?"

Castle frowned as Esposito and Ryan studied him. On the tip of tongue was the truth. The fact that all he wanted to do was forget all of this and go back into that elevator with Beckett. His heart hadn't stopped pounding and he was fighting the urge to pull her back into his arms. He wanted to taste those lips of hers again. Then he remembered the look on her face and he felt embarrassed. She was right. That kiss, it came from this mess. Not because it was natural or because it simply happened but because he needed something. Anything to pull him back down again.

"Fine."

Esposito snorted.

"Your 'fine' reads about as well as Fifty Shades of Grey."

Both Esposito and Ryan chuckled until they caught the caught the look on Castle's face.

"What?"

A smile found its way to Castle's face.

"The only way that you know is if you read it. Have you boys been reading Mummy Porn?"

Ryan and Esposito did fantastic impressions of goldfish before speaking.

"Jenny made me read it."

"I refuse to comment."

Castle started to laugh, a deep baritone that hurt his sides.

"You….read…Mummy…..Porn."

Given a choice between crying and laughter, always choose laughter. And that is exactly what Castle did. He laughed until his face hurt, until his eyes watered and until the only way he could stay on his feet was leaning on Beckett's desk. When Beckett walked back into the main bullpen, she glanced at Castle and then between the two embarrassed faces of Ryan and Esposito.

"Who broke Castle?"

They pointed at each other. Kate couldn't keep the smile at bay for long. She kept her voice low, leaning close to Ryan and Esposito.

"Accidental or not, he needed that. Thank you."

Both of them nodded, each of them adopting the attitude of doing this all intentionally. After Castle had gained control of himself, Kate held up her phone.

"I just got a call from Lanie."

Instantly the room became serious.

"What is it?"

"Kaylee had a head injury."

Kevin picked up her train of thought.

"Which means anyone could have killed her."

"Precisely. Hit someone in the head and anyone can do what they want."

Kate walked over to the murder board and added on the information regarding the head wound. She then turned back to Esposito and Ryan.

"I need you to track down a Dillion Ross for me."

"Who is he?"

"He was having an affair with Kaylee."

"Supposedly."

They all turned to look at Castle, whose voice was hard. Kate nodded slightly.

"Supposedly. I want to know everything."

"Done."

They both moved to their desks and in quiet unison, started punching at their keyboards.

"Detective Beckett?"

Kate turned to face the serious entity that was Gates.

"Yes Sir?"

"A word please."

Kate knew what this was all about before Gates had even closed the office door.

"Sir, I know what this is about."

"Do you?"

"Castle."

Gates frowned.

"He's too close to all of this."

"I can't shut him out completely."

"You should."

Kate sighed.

"You and I both know that if he's not here with us, he will be doing it alone. At least here, I can keep an eye on him."

Gates nodded.

"Agreed."

"He's working on a connection he found between Kaylee's final novel and her murder."

"Hopefully that will keep him out of trouble."

Kate shrugged.

"It's Castle, so maybe briefly."

"Just make sure, if it gets too much-"

"Send him home."

Kate followed Gates eye line to Castle, who was hunched over the manuscript at Kate's desk.

"He is most definitely one of the most annoying people I have ever met but he is part of this team. Do what you can to make sure he's ok."

"Yes Sir."

Kate slid out of Gate's office and made her way over to her desk. Castle shifted his seat slightly so Kate could settle beside him. In silent agreement, they took half the manuscript each and not the first time and certainly not for the last, inching their way through the text.

* * *

They were going over the script a third time when Ryan slapped a picture on the murder board, causing them both to jump.

"Everyone meet Dillion Ross."

Esposito followed up from there.

"Our boy is clean as a whistle. Bills paid on time, no traffic violations. Never been married and no kids."

Ryan cleared his throat.

"There was only one large thing that he had purchased recently."

His eyes fell on Castle.

"An engagement ring."

Castle frowned, his head shaking slightly. Kate cleared her throat.

"What else?"

"Hasn't been at work for almost four days."

"We knew that part already. Anything else?"

"He lives just two blocks away from the crime scene."

Kate frowned.

"I wonder if she could have been going there when she was killed. That would explain while she was there."

"The question is, has he read her manuscript?"

Kate grabbed her coat.

"Let's find out, shall we?"

With a glance at Esposito, Kate knocked on the door. It was a nice home. Simple and tidy. She could also see the direction towards the area where Kaylee was killed. When no answer came, Kate cocked her head.

"Do you hear that, Espo?"

Esposito made a show of frowning a staring hard at the door before glancing at Ryan.

"Yo Kev, you hear what we do?"

Kevin nodded with a tight smile.

"Oh completely. Someone could be in distress, we should go in."

Kate didn't wait for any further agreement. The boys had her back. She stepped back in silent agreement as Espo kicked open the door with frightening ease. Kate glanced just before they went in, making sure that Castle stayed put until they had cleared the area. She flanked Espo and they worked their way into the home.

"Clear."

"Clear."

"Clear."

Only once this was done did Kate take in the room around them. The life he lived with Kaylee was all over it. Framed pictures and adventures and on a shelf in a back room, she found the ring that he had purchased.

"Beckett! We have a runner."

Kate all but leaped down the steps that lead to small back area. She needn't have bothered. Dillion was on the ground but that wasn't what made her pause. It was the fact that Castle was on top of him, fist's swinging.

"Castle! Stop."

He failed to hear her. Or perhaps he ignored her. Either way, he swung again, the meaty crunch or flesh and bone leaving a bad taste in her mouth. Espo pushed between them and Castle only stopped struggling when Espo had his arm over his chest, speaking to him low and urgently. Ryan helped her slap cuffs on Dillion. She let Ryan tug him to the awaiting car, her attention back on Castle. He seemed to have lost his fight, his fists now dangling loosely at his sides. Whatever hits he had thrown were strong ones. There were thin trails of blood on his knuckles. She pulled a tissue out of her pocket as she approached him. She handed it over to him.

"You and I need to talk."


	7. Chapter 7

_A/N - Hey boys and girls. So this is headed into the zone! I am having so much fun writing all of this. So, as writers on this site, you all know that we live via reviews. I have new followers (Hello there...) and that's awesome but I need to make sure that I am on the right track. Let me know what I have right or wrong. Let me know if I am keeping with what the characters are doing! Let me know anything that is going on when you read._

 _So read, enjoy and review...Cause that is how I function!_

Chapter Seven – Eight Days A Week

Dillion lawyered up before they got anywhere near the precinct. Blood ran down his chin, his eyes already starting to swell. Kate rearranged her grip on the steering wheel. Castle had just ruined one of their hottest leads because he could not keep it together. Ryan and Esposito took Dillion into one of the interview rooms and Kate nabbed Castle's coat, tugging him into the break room. She closed both the doors and pulled the bent blinds. When she finally turned back to Castle, she felt nothing but blind fury and frustration.

"What the hell did you just do?"

Castle help up his hands.

"He was trying to get away."

"Stop trying to be cute! You may have just cost us our lead! Now not only do I have to get the information at of him, I need to work around a friggen firewall that will come from a lawyer."

"I'm sorry. I lost control. It's close to home."

The sympathy that she felt for him battled with the anger she felt from his actions. She threw up her hands, giving in to her frustration.

"You don't think this is close to me? That every single case doesn't shave a little bit of my heart each and every time? You don't think that I feel like tackling a few of the suspects and pound them into the ground? But I can't. And it hurts me that you think that I am not close to this case as well. I didn't know Kaylee, but I know you."

Castle was shocked into silence at her outburst but when he opened his mouth to protest her glare shut him down.

"The boys are backing me and they are backing you. As far as we are all concerned, he resisted arrest. They just put their necks on the line. You need to get your head in the game, Castle. And until you do, go home. Just…..I can't even do this right now. I have to clean up your mess."

She ran her hand through her hair and stormed out of the room without a backward glance. The butterflies that has kiss had caused were now twisted in her stomach instead. She pushed it all aside and focused on Dillion. He was cleaned up now and he sat quietly with one wrist cuffed.

"Hey Beckett. Where is Castle?"

"I sent him home. Has Dillion said anything at all?"

Esposito shook his head and crossed his arms.

"Nope. He's waiting for his lawyer."

Kate shook off her coat and handed it to Esposito.

"Maybe he could simply discuss Kaylee."

Kate rolled her shoulders and took a deep breath before entering the interview room. Dillion looked up as she entered, his eyes narrowing at her.

"I refuse to answer any questions."

Kate shrugged as she took a seat across from him.

"Fine, I don't mind waiting for your lawyer. But while we do, care to explain this?"

She slid the engagement over to him. His face fell slightly. The people that you love, the ones you care about, those are your weaknesses. She pushed a little more.

"By all signs, you loved her, didn't you?"

Dillion smiled slightly.

"A man does not buy a ring without the love to go behind it. But she didn't tell me the truth. I didn't know that there was a truth to be had."

"How did you find out about her husband and kids?"

Dillion swallowed.

"I found out a week before she…before she died."

"Did you find out or did she tell you?"

"I got a note."

Kate frowned.

"You got a note? From who?"

"I don't know. It wasn't signed."

"Where is it?"

"At my home, in my desk."

Kate nodded, making a note.

"Who would want you to know?"

"I'm not sure. Only a few people in the office knew before I did. But I think it all came to a head when he daughter visited. I never fully clicked. Then when I got the note, I knew. I confronted her."

"And how did that go?"

Dillion rested his face in his hands for a moment.

"I told her I knew. She got angry. She slapped me and then left."

"Where did it all go down?"

"Again, my place."

Kate nodded.

"And do you have an alibi for her time of death?"

"Sure. I was depressed. I went to a bar and got slaughtered. Got a cab home and passed out."

"How did you pay for the cab?"

"Credit card. You can look."

Kate studied Dillion's hands. They were soft and flawless, the markings of a man who spent his time behind a screen. She didn't get that feeling from him. He seemed broken, a lot like Spencer.

"If you didn't do it, who wanted her dead?"

Dillion shook his head, tears coming to his eyes as he took in the ring that still sat before him.

"I don't know."

Before Kate could comment any further, the door swung open and a well-dressed man with streaks of grey in his hair, strode into the room.

"My client-"

"Has helped immensely. I will need to ask further questions about his situation in all of this but for now, he has given me permission to go back to his home for evidence supporting his alibi."

The lawyer frowned as he took in Dillion's face.

"What did you do to my client?"

Dillion help up his hand.

"I panicked and ran. They stopped me. My own stupid fault."

Kate appreciated the back up from Dillion. Issue was, they had hit another wall. The only person with a real reason to kill Kaylee had provided an alibi. She sat on the edge of her desk, taking in the silence. It felt odd to not have Castle chattering in her ear. Shit. Castle. She had calmed down now. Her earlier outburst seemed pointless since Dillion had spoken to her at the end of it all. He had done something stupid but that wasn't why she snapped. She just simply felt like she was running on the spot. She glanced at her phone but saw nothing there. For now, she had work to do. Kate spent another ten minutes studying the murder board before she grabbed her coat. She had a few more questions for Spencer.

* * *

"How did you not know?"

Spencer shook his head at Kate's tone.

"We were both busy. She was always out of the house. I never tracked her. I trusted her."

"Well, it may be what got her killed."

Spencer had answered her questions with ease but when the affair came up, he started to build a wall. Kate got the feeling that he knew. He had been with his wife since they were sixteen. Knowing someone that intimately meant that surely if something changes, you would see it. She chose to remain suspicious.

"Where is Castle?"

Kate frowned, refusing to rise to the bait.

"Did you kill Kaylee?"

Spencer stood and for a moment, Kate didn't like what she saw. Gone was the friendly man that had greeted her warmly. This person was dark, his fists clenched, his eyes flashing.

"Get out of my house. If you come back, bring a warrant."

Kate did as she was asked, heading out the door. She paused for a moment, her chin hard.

'"I'm going to get whoever did this. Even if it's you."

Spencer said nothing, simply slammed the door in her face. She got into her car and drove back around to Dillion's home. She found his desk easily and started shuffling through the papers. She found the letter. It was nothing overly explosive or dramatic but it was enough. Anything was enough.

 ** _She's not who you think she is. Look closer. She's married. She has kids. She lied to you._**

That was all. The letter was typed and initially she could see nothing to run with. Instead, she carefully put it into an evidence bag and wondered around for a little longer. Nothing struck her. She headed back to the office to drop off the evidence. She had one more thing to do before she could call it a day.

* * *

He had been sitting there for hours, gazing into the nothing in front of him. Alexis had come and gone and he had managed to wave off her concern. She was had decided to stay with a friend and Castle encouraged her to do so. She needed a distraction. Martha was on a date that night and Castle didn't expect her home any time soon. He kept looking at his hands. He hadn't bothered to do anything with them at all. The blood had dried and he could see the loose skin on his knuckles from the hits. He felt ashamed of losing it that way. Worse still was that he saw the hurt in her eyes when he tried to explain himself away. He glanced at his phone, wondering if he should try to call her. He then wondered if he was pushing it by doing so. He barely heard the knock on his door, he was so lost in thought. He stood and pulled it open, barely caring who was on the other side. Except it was Beckett. It took him a second to register that she was there. They stared at each other for a moment before speaking in unison.

"I'm sorry."

Then they both smiled, pulled in by their tendency to be on the same wavelength. Castle opened the door wider.

"You had better come in. Would you like something to drink?"

"A beer would be good."

Beckett closed the door behind her and watched as he moved into the kitchen and fetched two bottles of beer. She frowned when he turned back to her and she saw his hands.

"Your hands."

Castle looked down, shaking his head.

"Forget it, they are fine."

Beckett accepted the beer, took a large pull before lowering it onto the counter.

"Right, where is the first aid kit?"

"Under the sink."

She walked around the counter and nabbed the kit from under the sink. They moved together into the living room, where it was slightly more comfortable. She set out all the bits and pieces that she needed, bacterial wipes, swabs to clean the blood and betadine. She grabbed his left hand first and got to work.

"Beckett, I'm sorry for losing it."

Kate's eyes flick up to his before going back down to his hand.

"Me too. I overreacted."

"You had every right too."

"Not really. Dillion was fairly happy to speak to me. He even covered the assault saying it was his own fault. You did nothing to the case. I got frustrated and took it out on you."

Kate finished with the left and she started with the right. Her touch was light but it was enough. Castle kept studying her as her skin warmed his. She had been running her hands through her hair again, it was all tangled and messy. Terribly sexy, he thought to himself. Her shoulders were relaxed as she focused on the task; her hands were nimble and soft, gently cleaning his wounds. He focused on her soft breathing, the shift in her clothing as she did so. He always kept himself studying her like this. He hadn't been caught too badly yet but he had a few close calls. He just always seemed to be admiring her in some way or another. If it wasn't in the bullpen watching her brain turn and connect or here so completely consumed by her task that she actually seemed relaxed.

"I can feel you studying me you know."

Castle clicked his eyes off her and studied his hands instead. She raised her eyes and offered him a small smile.

"I wouldn't be much of a cop if I didn't know someone was watching me."

"Admiring you."

"Admiring then."

Their eyes locked and there it was again. Castle licked his lips unconsciously, flicking over Kate's. He wanted so badly to taste her again. He wanted to put his hands back on that delicious dip in her spine, to feel her breath disappear completely when he kissed her. He wanted to feel her arms around him again, to feel her hands in his hair. Both physically flinched when his phone rang. He scrambled for it, feeling unsettled. He frowned as he glanced at the screen.

"Castle."

"Is this Richard Castle?"

"Yes."

"Is your daughter Alexis Castle?"

Instantly, Castle was on full alert, his heart stopping.

"Yes. Where is she? What's wrong?"

"She has been admitted to Van Guard Hospital-"

Castle didn't listen to the rest, he simply hung up. He stood and grabbed his coat. Beckett followed suit, frowning.

"Castle, what's wrong?"

"Alexis is in hospital. We have to go. Now."

Kate followed him out the door, their moment now forgotten.


	8. Chapter 8

_A/N – Hey boys and girls. I promised this chapter to my mate Erin who is not feeling the best. We just spent an hour chatting on the phone, with her asking me what was going on._

 _So here it is Erin!_

 _As for you guys, please read, enjoy and review!_

Chapter Eight – You Make The Whole World Smile

Beckett hung back as Castle all but physically tackled the nurse to find out when Alexis was. Considering that they knew nothing about what happened, even her imagination went nuts, let alone Castle's. His imagination needed no excuse to run rampant. When they went into the room where Alexis was, Beckett instantly felt better. She had a bump over her eye and some bruising on her cheek but nothing more that she could see. Castle strode into the room and instantly pulled her into a tight hug. Alexis gasped and Castle released her quickly.

"What?"

"Bruised ribs."

"Oh."

Beckett remained standing and waited for Castle to stop fussing before she spoke.

"What happened?"

Alexis sighed, rearranging herself on the bed.

"I was going to the movie with Hope and Sammy. I thought it was a good idea. Hope needed a distraction. We went to the Silvian Theatre, it had an advanced screening of the new Adam Sandler movie."

"Did anyone aside from you three know what you were doing?"

"Sammy's parents dropped us off. We booked online this afternoon. Not even Dad knew what we were doing."

Beckett nodded, moving her hands to encourage Alexis to keep going.

"We got to the theatre and grabbed the tickets. We were early so we decided to go to the 7 Eleven down the road to get some food to smuggle in. When we came out, there was this….person waiting for us. We ignored him and kept walking. But he followed us. I had my phone in my pocket and dialled 911. When he attacked us, the operator was already tracking the call. He punched me and kicked me when I went down."

Alexis started to cry and Castle gripped her hand tighter.

"He leaned over me and said 'Back off. Tell them to back off. Or it is going to get much worse."

Castle flicked his eyes to meet Beckett's. They were getting too close. Alexis shook her head.

"I don't understand why they would attack us."

"Alexis, were the other girls hurt?"

Alexis nodded.

"Sammy sprained her wrist and got a black eye. I don't know about Hope. We were separated fairly quickly when we got here."

Beckett moved around the bed, coming to stand behind Castle.

"Alexis, what is Sammy's last name?"

"Jones. Like Sex and The City."

Beckett offered her a small smile, glancing at Castle.

"I'm going to track Sammy and Hope down. You good here?"

He nodded and then his attention was turned back completely to Alexis. Kate made her way back into the hospital corridor. She nabbed the first nurse she saw and quickly flashed her badge before asking about Sammy and Hope. The nurse gave her the information easily, pointing a few doors down the hall. It was there that she physically bumped into Spencer. He opened his mouth to apologize and then registered who was standing before him and instantly became standoffish.

"What are you doing here?"

Beckett indicated up the hall.

"Alexis was attacked too. I just had a couple of questions for the girls."

"Are you going to accuse them of murder too?"

Beckett cocked her eyebrow.

"Really? Here I am thinking that you would like to find who hurt the girls."

Spencer huffed but Beckett saw the move of his body and she slipped past him before he could protest any further. Sammy was out of bed, perched on the edge of Hope's.

"Hi girls."

Hope offered a slight smile.

"Hi Detective Beckett. Did Alexis tell you what happened?"

"Yeah she did. But I need to hear it from you guys too."

They both went over the story again, much the same as Alexis. Except, it appears that having a father who writes crime novels and works with the police force made Alexis a lot better with listening to her gut when something wasn't right. Neither of the girls really noticed the person who attacked them. Face covered, gloves and very little said. Both girls were being discharged in the next hour or so. Beckett said nothing as she left the room, working her way back around Spencer. She went back into Alexis's room just as the doctor left.

"What's the diagnosis?"

Alexis smiled as she got out of the bed slowly and carefully, her hand in Castle's.

"I get to go home. They did the tests and decided that I don't have a concussion."

"Great."

Alexis disappeared into the bathroom and Castle folded into himself slightly. Beckett moved closer and put her hand on his shoulder.

"She's fine, Castle."

His voice was muffled as he spoke.

"I know. But we're getting close, aren't we? Why else would someone attack the girls?"

Beckett put her hand on his shoulder, giving it a squeeze. His hand travelled up from his lap to cover hers.

"I don't know. Considering only Sammy's parents knew where they were going."

"It was planned. Which means someone told that guy where they would be."

"But even if they did, how in the world did they know they were headed for the 7 Eleven?"

Beckett removed her hand from his shoulder and sat on the edge of the bed facing him.

"I'll get Gates to set up a protective detail."

Castle shook his head.

"She won't do that."

"Yeah she will. She gave me the all clear to do what is needed to get this sorted. And even though she's not your biggest fan, she would never put Alexis at risk. She's not a complete monster."

Castle smiled.

"I don't know."

"But for now, I'm going to get Espo to pick you up and drop you off. He'll keep you two company until we get the detail in."

"Espo-"

"Won't mind. Just feed him and he'll be happy."

Castle laughed. Kate pulled out her phone and called Esposito. After a quick conversation he agreed to be at the hospital as quickly as possible. Next call was to Gates, who quickly confirmed that she could have the details on the Castle's home in the next couple of hours. Kate put her phone away.

"All done."

Alexis came out, redressed in her jeans and t-shirt. She had tugged her hair into a loose ponytail and she sighed as she handed her shoes to her father.

"Bending, not so much fun with the ribs."

Castle laughed and with practiced ease, slipped the shoes one her feet, tying them neatly. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

"We are going to have some company tonight. Detective Beckett giving you a protective detail."

Alexis's eyes widened as she turned to Beckett.

"Why?"

"Because they focused on you. Hope and Sammy were less injured than you. They also didn't hear what he said to you."

Alexis frowned.

"How am I the focus? I don't understand."

"Neither do we but we will get there."

Kate moved closer to Alexis.

"It's just a precaution okay? Esposito will hang out for a while at the loft then someone will stay outside the door. I just want to make sure you are safe. I would rather feel stupid tomorrow when we have wasted the time of the poor guy who will be sitting there all night than have something happen."

Alexis nodded slightly.

"You do know that Dad will never let you forget it if you do waste the poor guys time?"

Kate cracked a smile.

"I can live with that."

A few minutes later Esposito arrived and with casual ease, had a night planned with Alexis. Castle let himself drop back, matching his step to Beckett's as they made their way out of the hospital.

"You are welcome to join us."

Beckett offered him a smile.

"That's ok. The only thing I see in my future tonight is a hot bath."

"Nice imagery. In terms of relaxation I mean."

"Good save. Call me if you need anything."

Beckett stood back and waited as they piled into the car. When she lost sight of them, she hailed a cab and headed home.

* * *

She hadn't been lying when she said her night would involve nothing more than a bath. She had ordered in takeaways and set them aside once they were delivered. She drew herself a deep bath, lighting her favourite candles and using her favourite bubble bath. She sunk into the welcome heat and closed her eyes. But her life was never that easy. Behind her lids played out the case. Kaylee, dead and broken as well as the masked man who had threatened Alexis. More annoying, how did he know that they would be there at that exact moment? The question kept going around and around as she soaked. An hour later, relaxed and deliciously wrinkled she pulled on her robe and padded into her kitchen. She threw some of the takeaways in the microwave and poured a glass of wine while she waited. She glanced at her phone, feeling better when there was nothing there. When there was a knock on the door, she almost jumped. She glanced at the clock realizing that after midnight, there was little expectation of guests. And after their threat, she was not going to take any risks. She got her Sig from the counter and flicked off the safety. She approached the door quietly, frowning when she saw who was on the other side. She flicked the safety back on and unlocked the door before pulling it open.

"Castle?"

The man in question looked pale and tired, his face pinched. His hair was tussled and she could see the side that he had been attempting to sleep on. He looked at her through bloodshot eyes.

"I couldn't sleep."

It was then that Beckett realized that this wasn't new. She had assumed it was the grief that caused the red rimmed eyes. He hadn't slept since they found Kaylee.

"You need to sleep."

"I can't. Sorry, did I wake you?"

He realized the time and took in her damp hair and fluffy robe. She shook her head as she pulled the door open wider.

"Come in. Want to eat? I ordered Chinese."

He settled himself on the sofa as she went into the kitchen and got a plate for him. She took a seat beside him, served him up some spicy beef noodles and curled her legs under her.

"Everything ok with Alexis?"

Castle nodded as he swallowed the noodles.

"She's fine. She was sleeping when I left. Espo refuses to leave. He was passed out on the sofa."

"Man on the door?"

"That too. Castle loft is fully protected."

Beckett put aside her noodles and sipped her wine.

"Is this what it is like for you?"

She cocked her eyebrow at his comment.

"Sorry?"

"With victims. When you close your eyes, do you see their faces?"

Beckett sipped the wine again. She remained silent as she poured a glass for Castle. When she spoke her voice was soft.

"Yes. I see all of their faces. It's worse in the middle of the case. Once it's closed, they kind of leave me alone."

"You sound crazy."

Beckett snorted.

"You're one to talk. Why the sudden curiosity?"

"I keep seeing Kaylee. I can't shake her."

"She's your ghost."

"Can I get an exorcism?"

Beckett couldn't help the burst of laughter that shot out of her. She clamped a hand over her moth, waiting to see Castle's reaction. He joined her. Her concern and frustration gave way to the small intimacy of laughter. When it started to die and Beckett wiped the tears from her cheeks, she glanced at Castle. He still had a smile on his face but it had faded to almost nothing.

"It feel's wrong, laughing."

She nodded softly.

"I know. But it hurts less than the alternative."

They ate in silence, cooling their mouths with the deep red wine. When the food was gone and the wine glasses empty, Castle stood.

"I should go."

"You don't have too, honestly. I was going to watch an old movie."

"Which one?"

She thought frantically through her collection. She hadn't been planning to watch anything but frankly, she didn't want to leave him alone. If he left, who knew where he would end up? He needed a friend.

"Singing In The Rain."

"I love that movie."

"Me too."

Castle shook off his coat again and settled back down on the sofa. He curled up on one end, she on the other. After a moment's thought, she pulled the blanket from the back and placed it over them.


	9. Chapter 9

_A/N - Hello people. Sorry about the delay in this chapter. My best friend is going through some stuff at the moment and I am spending most of my time with her._

 _As always...REVIEW AND REVIEW!_

 _Enjoy!_

Chapter Nine – Various Storms and Saints

When she woke up, there was a flicker of memory as to what had happened the night before. She tried to stretch out her legs but she found them tangled with the heavy body on the sofa with her. She pushed herself up on her elbow and looked down the other end. In sleep, his face was completely open to her. He looked completely relaxed, on hand under his cheek, the other fisting the blanket to his chest. He shifted in his sleep, pressing his legs into hers. She should be uncomfortable, should not have slept as well as she had. The sofa was not designed to sleep two adults. Yet, here she was completely rested and deliciously warm with her body pressed against his. Most of her instincts told her to move, to extract herself from this warmth. But she didn't want to wake him. She tried to doze but now that she had noticed it, she was terribly aware of his flesh pressing against her own. It was just their legs but it felt almost as intimate as the kiss in the elevator. He shifted in his sleep again only this time, he was awake and he lifted his head blinking on confusion. He locked eyes with her.

"I fell asleep."

"We both did."

"Yes, but it has been three days for me. Five minutes with you and I'm out."

Beckett shrugged.

"Maybe I'm just that boring."

Castle smiled softly.

"You are anything but boring."

He extracted himself first, swinging his legs and body away from hers. He stretched before checking his phone. The sofa felt far too big now without him there. She quickly adjusted her robe before pushing off the blanket and standing herself.

"I should head home."

She watched as he pulled on his coat. He flicked her quick smile.

"I'll meet you at the bull pen."

"Sounds like a plan."

She watched him leave. She pulled her robe tighter around her, shaking off the memory of their night and started to get ready for work.

* * *

When she arrived at the bull pen, she had barely had time to sip her coffee Castle had handed her before Gates pulled her into her office.

"A harassment charge has been placed against you."

"What? By who?"

"Spencer Dean."

Kate cursed.

"Why?"

Gates pulled out the file, holding it in from of her.

"He says, and I quote that you are applying undo pressure regarding his wife's murder."

"No I didn't."

Gates shook her head.

"I know this. But I also had to make you aware that this is happening. He wants you done for harassment."

Kate pressed her face into her hands for a moment. When she looked up again, she met Gates sympathetic gaze.

"Keep pushing but tread carefully."

"Yes Sir. You know this makes him look guilty, right?"

"Is he?"

"I don't know. There's too many lose ends for me to tie."

"Well tie them, so I can throw this rubbish out."

"Yes Sir."

She left Gates office feeling angry. She could see why he did it but it was a dumb move. For him and for her.

"What's up?"

Castle was back to pouring over the novel, his notes almost overtaking the original text completely. Kate sunk into the seat beside him.

"Spencer filed harassment charges against me."

Castle dropped his pen.

"What?"

"That's what I said."

She thought for a moment that Castle would jump to the defence of his friend. She should have known better.

"Idiot."

Kate cocked her eyebrow.

"I thought you would defend him."

Castle snorted.

"No, why would I? I know you and I know what you have or will ask. And he's an idiot."

She felt a soft glow of warmth in her chest with that comment. Knowing he had her back was one thing, it was rather pleasant for him to verbally confirm it. Her phone chirped and interrupted her train of thought. When she answered, her eyes found Castle's. She then hung up, her face serious.

"We have another murder."

* * *

When they approached the scene, both Beckett and Castle paused as they took in what was in front of them, feeling an incredible sense of déjà vu.

"Castle."

"Yeah, I see it too."

They moved again and when they saw the body completely, they turned to each other in surprise. Red coat, blonde hair and the alley that bordered the busy city, easy to blend in once it was done.

"Check her pockets."

Lanie did as she was told, her gloved hands coming back out empty. Beckett frowned.

"Okay everyone, this is our second murder. We know what we are looking for. Anything and everything that could have caused those ligature marks on her neck. It was a pointless task but Beckett would be fighting to get this sorted. And if they missed anything, she would never forgive herself.

Scene processed, Beckett and Castle sat in the car together. Beckett didn't start the car, they simply sat, each trying to grapple with what they just saw.

"Is it the same guy?"

"I don't know Castle. But all that work that you did on the novel may do us some good. So, let's run through what we know.

Castle, having lived and breathed the manuscript since the beginning, started talking.

"Mistaken identity."

"But Kaylee wasn't a mistake."

Castle turned in his seat to face her more.

"But what if she was? What if we are too close to see it?"

He let his statement stand for itself for a few moments before he continued.

"Hired killer, jealousy, hate and revenge. Everything a good case and good book needs."

"Suspects?"

"The hired killer and the spouse."

"What's the twist?"

"Strangers on a Train."

Beckett nodded slowly.

"But what if it's something else?" I feel like we are missing something."

"We are. Two other people read that manuscript that we haven't talked to yet."

"Editor and publisher."

"Exactly. And there's something else?"

"And that would be?"

"It could be a warning, for us. Remember what he said to Alexis. We're getting too close."

Beckett nodded. She finally started the car and eased her way into the traffic, no true destination in mind.

"How is Alexis?"

"Freaked out. Her words not mine."

Beckett flicked her eyes over the rear view mirror. She was feeling overly cautious now. After the attack on Alexis, nothing could be assumed.

"Let's go and see this publisher. And Beckett?"

"Yeah?"

"Let me run this one. I know her."

Beckett nodded slightly.

"Fair enough. Where are we headed?"

* * *

Dilworth Publishing was big. It's not what Beckett expected. She wasn't even sure what she expected but it wasn't this. She followed Castle as he casually waved off the protest from the receptionist. They got into the elevator where he hit the button for level six. There was a brief flash of memory. Beckett would never look at elevators the same way again. They would forever mean something else entirely. She kept her eyes ahead, stepping out of the elevator a second after Castle did.

"Who are we seeing?"

"Chaos Jones."

Beckett paused.

"Really?"

"Yup, that's her legal name. Parents can be cruel."

She followed him down a narrow corridor and after a brief knock on a heavy door, he pushed it open. Chaos Jones sat behind a large desk. And there was absolutely nothing chaotic about her. As she rose and came around the desk, Beckett clocked the perfectly pressed suit, the clearly designer shoes and the demure but very expensive jewels glittering on her wrist and ears. They sparkled slightly as she moved. She clapped her hands as she took in Castle.

"Ricky."

They hugged and Chaos pressed a kiss to the slight smile on Castle's mouth. Castle stepped back, his hands on her upper arms.

"Chaos, looking lovely as always. How are you?"

"Better if you changed your mind."

"Sorry, not here for that. Chaos, this is Detective Beckett."

It felt a little odd to have Castle introduce her but he was right. This is his arena, not hers. And if he could find the information that they needed, she was happy to sit back and let him do what he needed to.

"Kaylee."

"Yes."

Chaos indicated the seats on the other side of her desk, sitting again once they both declined offers of refreshments.

"What do you want to know?"

Beckett gave Castle a quick nod, giving him full rein. She had studied Kaylee's novel but Castle had consumed it, he knew the material intimately. It was time for the pay off.

"Her latest manuscript."

Chaos snorted.

"Trash."

Castle's eyebrows shot up.

"Excuse me?"

Castle indicated the walls around her. Large shots of novel covers spotted the walls. All the best sellers and amongst them were three of Kaylee's.

"Those are Kaylee Dean. Not that murder mystery rubbish."

"I do that rubbish."

"Yes, but it is your style and genre. Kaylee's was the exact opposite."

Beckett saw the slight flash of anger on Castle's face and then it was gone.

"Did you read it?'

Chaos shrugged slightly.

"Enough of it to know that it wasn't going to work. But she pushed it anyway."

"How much did you read?"

"The first few chapters. Then I handed it over to my assistance's to finish it off. Kaylee was one of our biggest sellers. If she wanted it published, we would have pushed it through. But if she stopped what worked and focused on that novel and stuck with the genre, it would have been career suicide. Old readers would judge and new would be suspicious as to why she suddenly switched."

"Not if it's good writing. Which you would know if you actually partook in the craft rather than simply acting the part."

Beckett almost laughed when Castle turned to her, his face all fake innocence.

"It's like those waiter's at a restaurant who act like they know more than the actual chef. If you had that knowledge, then why aren't you in there cooking?"

Chaos turned an interesting shade of scarlet at Castle's comment. She jumped to her feet.

"You need to leave. Now. Before I call security to drag you out."

Beckett offered her a hard look.

"And I will be forced to get a warrant.

Chaos looked aghast. Reputation above all things. Beckett knew that she was thinking, could see the thought on her face.

"You can't do that."

Beckett nodded confidently.

"Yes I can. I will have this place sitting still while I wake to shake something loose. Now, sit back down please."

Chaos, not used to taking orders, paused, seeking an alternative to the command or a smart retort. Nothing came to her and she sunk back into her seat.

Beckett took a beat to jot down a note regarding comments about Kaylee's writing before speaking again.

"How many people would have read her manuscript?"

"In this office?"

"Yes."

Chaos paused, pretending to think but it was a ploy and they both knew it. She was trying to gain control of the situation and conversation.

"At least six."

"I want names."

Chaos signed and reached into one of her drawers. She pulled out a slip of paper, pushing it towards them with a well-manicured fingertip. Beckett glanced at the names. She tried to remain calm as her internal warning bells started screeching in her head.

"Castle, third from the bottom."

Castle's eyes widened.

"Bingo."


	10. Chapter 10

_A/N_ _\- Hey guys. New chapter up. I thought that I would post this since I am moving (again) and it may be a little time before I can sit down and do some proper writing for the next chapter._

 _So please as always, read, enjoy and review!_

 _See you on the the other end of the move!_

Chapter Ten – Bread and Butter

Erin Gifkens was surprisingly calm for someone who was sitting at the police station and in an interrogation room. In Beckett's experience, even the innocent had a hard time processing the activity around them. They over analyse what was going on. Erin just simply sat, playing with the end of her heavy braid, sighing and glancing at the watch on her wrist. Beckett and Castle watched her from the other side of the glass.

"So she discovered who Kaylee really was?"

"And used it against her to pull Dillion away from Kaylee. That's the theory anyway. I'll let her confirm it."

Beckett crossed her arms.

"I don't like her reaction. She's too relaxed."

"Agreed. It's unnerving. Go work your magic on her. Be scary."

Beckett smiled as Castle gently pushed her out the door by her shoulders. In the seconds from one doorway to another, the smile faded and she changed her face. She closed it off, made it hard and let the death of Kaylee and their Jane Doe reinforce it. Erin barely flicked her eyes up from the end of her braid when Beckett walked in, her posture remaining relaxed.

"Finally, I thought that you had forgotten me."

Beckett said nothing, let the silence do its thing. Except that it wasn't. Erin didn't seem bothered at all.

"So you said that this was about Kaylee."

"Actually, no. This is about you."

Erin paused, her hair falling from her finger tips/

"Me? How?"

'Why didn't you tell us that you read Kaylee's manuscript?"

Erin sighed.

"I didn't. I get a brief and then help create the blurb on the back of the book."

"But you connected Kaylee to that manuscript."

"It wasn't hard. Not only was she constantly writing in those damn notebooks of hers, I saw the manuscript. on her desk. Hardly the work of Sherlock Holmes."

"Why didn't you tell us?"

"You didn't ask."

Beckett frowned.

"And Dillion, how does he work into all of this?"

Erin stiffened. For the first time, she seemed reactive to something that was being said to her. So it was Dillion. He was the key. Erin's hands stilled and her voice became urgent.

"He's a victim."

Beckett examined her for a second, allowing the moment to settle on her. She could see it now.

"How long have you been in love with him?"

Erin shook her head, her face settling down and becoming less active.

"I don't."

"Yes you do. And you saw what was going on and the truth about Kaylee. So you acted to protect him."

Erin leaned forward.

"Look, I know what you are doing. You're wrong. If you want dirt on Kaylee, look into those damn notebooks of hers. She always carried at least three and I can guarantee that it wasn't just novel ideas in those things. Now, as much as I hate to be a cliché, I want a lawyer."

"You're not under arrest."

"I'm also not an idiot. Lawyer. Now."

Kate left the room without a backwards glance. Castle met her just outside the door.

"Is it true? Was she really a note taker?"

Castle nodded.

"Always. Everything and anything that she saw or heard."

Beckett nodded.

"Then we need those notebooks."

"Yeah, about that. We are talking about a woman who has been doing the notebooks since she could pick up a pen. She's kept every single one of them. That's hundreds of notebooks."

"I have had harder and far messier evidence. I'll arrange for a warrant and for a team to go and collect them."

She went to dial but her phone chirped instead.

"Hey Lanie."

She said nothing as Lanie spoke. Her friend killed the call before she could. She met Castle's gaze.

"We have an I.D on Jane Doe."

* * *

They stood in quiet reverence as they waited on Lanie to begin.

"Castle, Beckett meet Clarissa Marico. She's at the young end of 32. No surprise what the cause of death is. I do know that the attack came from behind judging by the direction and depth of the mark. Want to hear something sad?"

Castle's eyebrows flicked.

"Sadder than this?"

Lanie said nothing as she lowered the sheet that covered Clarissa's body. She lowered it to the waist and pointed at the arms, stomach and chest. It took Beckett to see what Lanie was pointing out. Light scars traced her pale, freckled skin. They all varied in sizes and depth.

"What is that?"

"But wait, there's more."

Lanie pulled up the lower end of the sheet, exposing Clarissa's legs. There were more scars there. Lanie shifted Clarissa slightly, exposing her back. There were the scars again.

"Did she cut herself?"

Lanie sighed.

"Castle, I would believe that on her arms and legs but not on her back and upper chest. Cutting is about self not everyone. Someone who cuts would not want anyone to see it."

"Then what is it?"

Lanie handed Beckett a file.

"Clarissa's medical records. She's suffered from eczema her entire life. The scars come from the tearing at her skin due to the itching."

"So she had dermatitis?"

Lanie shook her head.

"Oh no, this was a whole other level. She was in the upper one percent of the population, very rare and in some cases, deadly. We are talking strips of skin getting pulled away, bleeding, constant and persistent itching. She has been hospitalized at least half her life from blood infections and such. Take a look at the pictures from her last admission."

Beckett pulled open the file and was confronted with pictures that shocked her. Medical shots of her back, legs, arms and stomach made her look like a severe burn victim. All red, mottled and dry.

"She almost slipped into a coma from the severity of the infection."

"So what changed?"

"A little drug that shut off her immune system. It's often used for transplant patients as a way for their body not to reject the organ. She went from that to having normal skin, aside from the scars. She was on seven different pills daily as well as creams and oils to keep things under control. But from what I can see, it was working."

"Yeah, you're right Lanie."

"Sorry?"

Castle's frowned deepened as Lanie covered up Clarissa again.

"This does make it sadder."

* * *

Clarissa was added to the murder board and the wheels started to spin as they tried to string the two women together. After a few hours, there was nothing there. The women apparently had no other connection outside of the novel and the way that they died. Beckett leaned on her desk, arms across her chest in the silence of the bull pen. Aside from Castle, who was working once again on the manuscript, it was still. Esposito and Ryan had gone in to assist with the collection of the notebooks. They had checked in and Castle had been right. There were hundreds of them. And before they could leave the house that needed to be logged as evidence. Beckett sighed and focused on the dim. This is how it worked. Not with a flurry of activity but in the quiet spaces between. Sometimes nothing clicked and other times, the pieces slid neatly together in a way that she never noticed before. This was the time where she saw connections. But not tonight. She sighed and sipped the coffee that Castle had made her a little earlier.

"It didn't work, did it?"

"What?"

"Your Jedi mind trick."

Beckett cracked a smile as she turned back to him.

"As of yet, no. I can't seem to see the connection either. Aside from the fact that both women were looking for a new beginning. Clarissa with her health and Kaylee with her writing."

"Still no support on any of the theories then?"

"But there could be something in those notebooks."

Beckett ran her thumb over the stack of manuscript pages.

"You must have this memorized by now."

"Maybe but you never know what you are going to find every time we learn something new."

"So what are you looking for no?"

"Anything to do with our girl Clarissa."

"I never want to see another notebook again."

Beckett watched as stack after stack of boxes followed Ryan's comment. She waited for the flow to stop before counting. Thirty boxes. She glanced at Ryan.

"Is this all of them?"

He shook his head.

"Thanks to Kaylee, it was easy to find the notebooks that covered that last two years. I thought that should be far back enough to see the picture."

"Perfect. Let's get to work."

This was the organics of police work. Turning of pages, scratching of pens the rubbing of eyes. They managed to get through almost three dozen before Beckett sent home both Esposito and Ryan. She was going to do the same to Castle but he refused to budge, continuing to pour over the last remaining aspect of his friend. She made them both a coffee before settling herself back in the seat across from him.

"Beckett?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you ever think that you can know someone?

Beckett paused, mid-paragraph, raising her eyes to find his focused on her. She considered his statement.

"Depends on what you mean. I don't think it's possible to know every single nook and cranny of a person. Why?"

Castle turned one of the notebooks around for her to read. He remained silent as her eyes scanned the writing. It was from two years ago, Beckett could tell from the smears on the page and the damage to the paper that Kaylee had been crying when she wrote it.

 ** _It happened again, third one in three years. What if it's me? I don't feel right; the world seems to be getting darker on me. I don't know why. And here's Spencer planning names for our little boy. Spencer Junior. S.J. How in the world do I tell him again?_**

Beckett glanced back at Castle.

"That kind of thing is immensely personal."

"I've known her for ten years."

"You've know Alexis her whole life but I can guarantee that you don't know everything."

"True."

Beckett's softened her tone slightly.

"People are like onions. There's layers and then there's tears."

Castle managed a smile.

"Cheerful."

"Truthful."

They both put their heads back down again, getting back to the task at hand. It was Beckett who noticed it first. The writing shifted. It became more frantic, less smooth. She glanced at the date, 18 months before the murder. Even the very angle of the writing was completely different. Still distinctly Kaylee, but it was as if her hand couldn't keep up with her thoughts.

"Castle, pass me that notebook about the miscarriages."

He passed her the corresponding notebook, finding the page with a frown.

"What did you find?"

Beckett ignored his question, focusing on the books in front of her. It was definitely still Kaylee's writing, she had no doubt of that, not with the similarities between the two. It was just very different.

"Look at her handwriting. Something changed."

Castle examined the handwriting before fishing for another notebook. As he flicked through the pages, a business card fluttered to the table. They exchanged a quick look.

"Our connection?"

Beckett stood, already half out the door.

"Let's find out."


End file.
